Flashbacks are intense mind and body memories which can come complete with the smells, pain, feelings and emotions that occurred during the original traumatic event. Some times the person is not aware of what is going on around them because they are so lost in the memory. It can be difficult to learn what triggers them. It could be anything. This experience is not an attempt to draw attention to yourself, in fact it can be quite embarrassing. Because of the nature of my abuse church was often a place where flashbacks were triggered. You may think you are singing a song honoring God but the wounded person may be hearing something entirely different. In the hymn In the Garden when I heard ? He bids me go, in a voice so low.? I heard Jesus telling me to go! Get out of my sight! ( I didn't actually hear it. That's how I interpreted it.) For everyone else the song says "He walks with me and talks with me and tells me I am His own", but, I deduced it was telling me to go. I'd smell the odor of my fathers body and remember the rhythm of his body movements. Sometimes I'd gag. It was terrible. For many people communion has an entirely different meaning than the holy act it is meant to be. To them it instills terror.

   For people with DID flashbacks can trigger an alters manifestation. (An alter is a different state of mind that is equipped to handle the perceived threat.) You may have no way of knowing when someone has switched to an alter or a flashback has been triggered and you are not expected to know, but here are some things that may help if you are aware that something has changed.

Orient them to time and place. This is August 25, 2005 and your at church and no one here is going to hurt you.

   If the person is paralyzed by the flashback ask them if they can wiggle their index finger and when they are able to do that progress to other fingers, hand etc.

   Ask them if it is ok if you touch their hand or arm (Always ask first.) and then touch them gently in a non threatening place.

   If it is appropriate move with them to a private area where their embarrassment will be minimal.

   Talk with them about what is happening in their mind. You don't have to be a mental health professional to help. You don't have to have answers. Just listening is enough.

   Do not be afraid if a flashback triggers suicidal feelings, but be concerned. At this time you need to seek professional help. Do not leave the person alone and don't feel bad about getting help against the persons wishes. The important thing is that they stay alive and you can be sure that as the healing process takes place their opinion will change and they will understand and be glad that you were looking out for them.

   Treat the person with love and respect. I am not a mental health professional but having personal experience I can tell you that in the beginning, for me it was usually just a matter of letting the memory run it's course, until I learned how to talk myself out of them or let the Holy Spirit walk me through it. Again I would like to emphasize you do not have to have any solutions. Recently a person with DID told me that her pastor's wife said she would not talk with any alters, she would only speak with the core personality. This really grieved me. If a person is "switching", it is usually because they don't feel safe. Whether there was a valid reason for this or not doesn't matter. She felt insecure. How would not talking to an alter help this person feel safe and loved? ( There were times she may have been talking to an alter and she didn't even know it.) It is not our job to force this person to integrate, if that's what she was trying to do. It is our job to help them feel loved, safe and secure. In my opinion rejecting an alter does not accomplish that. I understand that she may not have thought of it that way, but please try to understand the fear and insecurity wounded people feel.

   Having the same person sit by a person you know has difficulty during church might be a good idea. They can be on the look out for situations that may arise and be able to offer support without disturbing anyone.

Pray